A new day and I am still struggling to keep my eating clean and its only day 2! I know I just need to do it, and very soon it will be habit again, but for now I have decided maybe I need to look at the reasons I want to lose weight. Once I started they just flowed; there may be some double-ups but when I look at all those reasons, it makes me wonder why I am hesitating. Surely no food could possibly taste as good as being able to do and have all those things!!

1. I want to like myself
2. I want to be able to look in the mirror and not feel sad
3. I want to feel amazing
4. I want to be a good role model for my kids
5. I want to lead by example
6. I want to wear clothes because I like them, not just because they fit
7. I deserve to be the best me I can be
8. I want to feel like I deserve to be happy
9. I want to stop defining myself by labels given by others (and myself) – and give myself new (good) labels!
10. I want to be able to hug people and not think about how fat I feel
11. I want to wake up and be excited about exercising
12. I want to be able to make good food choices because I want to – not because I feel I should
13. I want to be able to walk down the street and not feel like people are looking at me negatively
14. I want to be and feel healthy
15. I want to see my kids grown, married and with their own children
16. I want to feel confident and know people really do like me
17. I no longer want to be defined by my weight
18. I want to be able to say yes to something without first wondering if I will look stupid, I am too heavy or I won’t fit
19. I want to be able to buy an ice-cream (or any other food) and not feel like people are looking at me and ‘understanding’ why I look like this
20. I want to be happy
21. I want to live not just exist
22. I want to have more energy
23. I want my kids to be proud of me
24. I want that my boys are never embarrassed by their mother (or my weight at least 😉 )
25. I want to help other women my age realise they can do anything – weight related and not
26. I want to travel and not worry about the plane seats
27. I want to be able to do things with my sons and not be exhausted afterwards
28. I want to be able to ride a bike (I never have)
29. I want to be able to go to the beach without wanting to cover up all the time
30. I want to be able to go swimming
31. I want to be able to walk faster and longer distances
32. I want to be able to walk into a gym and feel good
33. I want to be able to exercise without sweating so much
34. I want to be able to cut my toenails without becoming short of breath
35. I want to be able to wear jeans and nice tops – not long ones that cover as much as possible
36. I want to be able to wear sleeveless tops
37. I want to be able to wear shorter dresses and not feel the need to hide my legs
38. I want to feel comfortable in my clothes
39. I want to feel normal
40. I want to be able to shop in ‘normal’ clothes shops
41. I want to be able to wear shorts
42. I want to not be lonely any more
43. I want to have the confidence to go out alone
44. I want to be able to walk the 1000 steps at Katoomba
45. I want to be able to walk Mt Panorama without dying
46. I want to feel like I deserve to lose weight
47. I want to stop being sad so much
48. I want someone special in my life who thinks I am special too
49. I want to feel like I can just be me
50. I want to be in a gathering (of friends or family) and not always be the biggest
51. I want to be a positive happy person
52. I want to be able to run – not long distances – just to the car if it is raining as an example
53. I want to stop looking back with regret and know I am changing – in a good way
54. I want to feel comfortable talking to people and know that what I have to say is just as important as what other people say
55. I want to live my passions
56. I want to stop nursing
57. I want to have enough money to not have to worry every day about paying the bills
58. I want to live in Paris for a while and not feel out of place because of my weight
59. I want to take my son to Disneyland and be able to go on all the rides
60. I want to help my son ‘grow into his weight’ and to feel like he can do anything and undo the negativity I have shown him through example
61. I want to inspire others
62. I want to walk into a place and not think people are looking at me because I am fat – rather that they are thinking I look good!
63. I want one chin!
64. I want to go in a hot air balloon (even though I am afraid of heights) and know that I am not going to kill everyone because I am so heavy
65. I want to do a photo safari in Africa in a hot air balloon
66. I want to be proud of me and what I have achieved
67. I want to be able to play hopscotch and skip rope
68. I want to have no more knee pain
69. I want to be able to look in a mirror and smile at what I see
70. I want to be able to cross my legs when I sit down
71. I want to like having photos taken
72. I want a towel to fit around me AND tuck in
73. I want to be able to go on a swing and not worry I am too heavy
74. I want to be able to wear ‘one size fits all’ – it really doesn’t
75. I want to stop making excuses why I can’t do things when really its my weight and my lack of self belief that is stopping me

And finally I just want to do it and stop making excuses