I have had this title going round in my head for a couple of days and I had planned on reviewing my goals and seeing how I was going – even though it’s only a couple of weeks into the year. But when I sat down to write, my brain took over and … here we go again. 😉
I had such great plans for this time off – in my head I could see me going back to work at least 10 kilos lighter, instead I have put on 5 and am having serious problems getting myself back to where I want to be both physically and mentally.
It’s actually really been annoying me, and if I am honest worrying me a little as well. What if I can’t get this under control again? I don’t want to go back to where I was! I am afraid of becoming that person again. I didn’t like the unhappy, over-weight, introverted person I was – besides, I have all those ‘new’ clothes to fit into 🙂
My problem was, I think, that I expected to just click back into the mind set and feelings I had before, but over the last couple of days I have come to realise that there is no reason why I should go back to ‘before’. I read somewhere today that change is good and over the last 6 months I have been changing more than almost any period in my life so why would I expect that not to continue?
With that in mind, I have been making small changes – drinking more water, no snacking at night (or at the very least making it a ‘good’ snack and counting the calories, writing up my food (honestly) in My Fitness Pal, and taking photos (when I remember) and posting them on FB (sorry FB friends 😉 )
I have made a point of not actually saying what I was doing for a few days because I know me – as soon as I say it out loud everything immediately all falls to pieces. I have learnt for me it is better to get something set in place and working before I tell anyone.
Monday was my PT day at the gym and I weighed in and have lost another kilo. I know I need to drink more water and I am working on that, but over all I am pretty happy. I also took Lachlan for his first ever session with a PT – more because he is 14 (15 tomorrow) and I don’t want him lifting too much or doing things that are not good for his age and growth. As well as that though, I want him to be told by someone who knows what they are doing who he might actually listen to. 🙂 I think he was a bit shocked at how hard she made him work lol – and hopefully the fact that I can lift more and do more than him will be a good incentive to push himself harder.
Talking about the gym – I had the nicest compliment this morning 🙂 I had just finished stretching and was about to leave when a lovely thin, fit looking person said she had been watching me do planks and she was impressed by my stomach strength as she couldn’t do half that (45 seconds – which is a record for me). I have to say that made my day and I am standing just a little taller and am a little bit more determined because of it.
I have been doing a bit of thinking recently. Over the holiday period I have missed getting together for SSS and coffee. I have seen others in the groups going for runs and doing the bridge to bridge but right now I am not sure I could do the B2B, especially with this heat (and my stupid knee) and I definitely can’t run. I have been feeling a bit down because most of my friends are doing fun runs and run club and I can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that they can and are but I feel a little left behind (and Teresa and Leanne – you are NOT allowed to feel bad!). I know I am a couple of rounds – at least – behind most of them and I know I will get there eventually. Then there is the 5km Colour Run coming up. I am a slow walker even when I am fit and I am certainly not fit now. I know I shouldn’t let it worry me but I don’t want to be at the end, and again, the heat is certainly a factor. I have pretty much decided I am not going to do it. I need to do things in my own time. I am loving going to the gym and walking around the park but any more than that for me becomes just too stressful. I want to enjoy the new me, I don’t want to do things I am not having fun doing. I know on the day I will regret it, but there will be other fun run/walks when I am ready and until then I will concentrate on getting my food and my water right and going to the gym.
Time to CRTL-ALT-DELETE my life and do what is right for me.
Anne Hill said:
Good to catch up again Shirley………you are thinking well Anne is actively trying to get motivated again! My determination to loose stones is still in progress I actually treated myself to new weigh scales I think they are weighing at least two stone heavy? well thats what I am trying to kid myself! I have also had a new set of heated rollers and these have been bought from money that I would have treated me and John to a nise cream cake or chocalate he really doesnt need to eat such rubbish.
The important part for me is when I weighed in yeasterday I have lost 6.5LB I am thrilled so onwards and upwards for me.
You take care and you will soon be getting Lacchy fit and ready to challenge the world big hugs and x’s Anne
Teresa Crouch said:
Oh Shirley – you hit the nail on the head with the comment of we need to do things in our own time – it was only a year ago (which feels like a lifetime) I started 12wbt and never would I have thought any of this was possible 🙂 And about run club….quietly I am shitting myself – its NOT going to be fun or easy or very social like a lot of my exercise activities have been – this is serious shit and I am scared – but I know if I don’t do this now I never will and in a years time I can look back and thank everyone that was there to push me along the way – you know how far you have come since you started your journey and you are a much different person now – even I know that – its not a race or a competition – its about getting YOU on track with YOUR life 🙂
Oh Shirley!!!!! we miss you!!!!!!!!!! one step at a time 🙂 this heat has been pretty bday but at 6am its not too bad lol…….If you ever wanna meet up and walk 🙂 its a done deal – even catching us as we warm down – as that way you get a bit of cardio on as we walk to cool down…and stretching 🙂 exercising with others makes the taks oh so much easier – so between your pt and us you will be fine….oh and did i mention you have SHIRLEY for support!! 🙂 as you a strong women…who knows and believes what she NEEDS! xoxoxo