Well, so much for blogging more often!
I have been thinking about it for a few days but kept coming up with a blank every single time, so I decided it was time to just sit down and write and see what spills out 🙂
The last couple of weeks have been incredibly frustrating and I have been feeling really down. It’s not an exaggeration to say I have spent a fair bit of the time in tears, and not all of it because of the pain.
I am not a person who ever just sits. I even get restless at the movies! The rare times I watch TV I am always doing something else as well, (writing, craft or on my laptop), but suddenly I can’t do most of those things and it is driving me mad.
I had such plans for these weeks off. I was going to sort and scan all my photo negatives (fine motor skills needed), sort all my actual photos (fine motor skills needed), write (hurts my fingers to type), and do a bit more sorting of stuff. Now I can’t do any of that (or only a little at a time), and I am so fed up.
My fingers feel about twice as big as normal with no feeling in the tips except pins and needles, which I could live withif it wasn’t for the shooting pains I get which feel like electric shocks. Oh, and the heat makes it worse – so much looking forward to 41 today and 42 tomorrow – not!
Everyone keeps telling me to rest them but I am bored! With a capital B. Besides – who else is going to do the ironing? The boys are great (as always <3). Ian is coming home at least every second night and either cooking ahead or preparing food for me and doing numerous small things I can’t manage (I keep a list for them all lol), Brendan is doing most of the other things I can’t do and I really appreciate it but they don’t clean like I do and I dread to look in their bathroom (it’s a boy thing!). Even Lachlan is helping out (grudgingly on some occasions, but he is a 14 year old boy ;)). While I appreciate their help so much, it doesn’t make it any less frustrating that I can’t even open a bottle of water by myself!
Anyway, I was sitting alone last night feeling really depressed and sad and suddenly I was just so sick of myself! I have so much to be thankful for and here I am moaning and carrying on because I can’t do what I want when I want.
So I sat down and wrote myself a list of things to achieve today. It’s not a huge list but it means I will achieve something instead of just sitting feeling sorry for myself.
And to make myself accountable, here it is –
Go for a walk– done
- Organise dinner
- Sort out my bathroom drawers
- Finish filing
- Save exercise and menu plans from this round of 12wbt
- Organise a freezer contents list
- Iron (for 15 minutes)
- Take my ‘photo of the day’
- Organise my household file
I may achieve more than that, but if all I do is this list, then I will be happy.
… and already Lachlan and I have been for a walk (to beat the heat we were up at 6 this morning which is unheard of for him), and here is my blog – so that is 2 things off my list 🙂
I have a board with some of my favourite inspirational quotes on the wall in front of my desk and my favourite keeps jumping out at me ‘What doesn’t kill me makes me awesome instead’.
Time to get over me and JFDI 🙂
I will report back tomorrow lol – and get Ian to sweep my floor tonight so it won’t annoy me quite as much 😛
Anne Hill said:
Shirley you are doing so well and I have started my healthy eaten regime and that is down to alot that you have shared, so dont be hard on yourself please. As regards to bloging is that a word? I had promised myself that I would keep one for me to keep me on track but also as a log for what I have achived each day. SURPRISE SURPRISE I dont even know where to start and waiting for my Andrew to say to me one day is there anything he can help me with(pigs have just flown by my window as I type) no I am so thankful that he is busy at work and home a better situation than alot.
So back to your hands I so understand and my life as changed beyond recognition to what I used to be, but I am so hoping that sticking to my weight programme will help with my joints since being taken off HRT I think what I have left is aging far to fast.
Dear o dear I am suppose to be cheering you up so off I run take each day a step at a time and you know what comes next small acheavable goals so as not to make you feel low.
Find your happy side and I hope to be able to attac my own blog soon big hugs Anne x