After writing the other day about how we needed to be proud of the small achievements and not dwell on the things we can’t do, I am having to listen to my own words today.

My last post was about my bad day of eating. Fortunately it was just one part of the day and I am back eating well and enjoying it again. But I have still been struggling with what to do about City to Surf and my ankle. I want to walk but my ankle is not co-operating and no matter how much I tell myself that I have to be kind to myself, it still feels like an excuse!

I gave myself a deadline until today to make the decision once and for all. This is the end of week 8 and we need to re-measure and repeat our fitness test.

The good news first – I have now lost a total of 49.5cm from my body since week 1! How totally amaxing is that!! Of course if I had breathed in a little deeper, it would have been 50cm, but I can live with that 🙂

So then I did my fitness test:

• wall sit – went from 20 seconds to 1 minute 🙂
• push-ups (knee) went from 18 to 23 🙂
• Sit and reach – went from 10cm to 21 :):)
• 1km (walk) – went from 10:58 to 10:55 – 3 seconds, which I guess considering my ankle is not too bad and it is exactly 2 minutes off my time in week 1 🙂

But half way around my ankle start hurting; shooting pain along the side of it despite being strapped, and I knew my decision was made.

I am trying very hard to not feel it is a ‘fail’ and I have to keep reminding myself where I was before I started 12wbt.

My boys have always been very supportive, especially the oldest one. He has been extra supportive today as in … ‘don’t be stupid (lol) – you have achieved so much – don’t wreck it because you are stubborn and its only money etc etc etc’ and he is right. I know that – really I do!

Earlier in the week someone on one of my groups posted a comment and parts of it struck home  ‘If your body is broken (injured or sick) – seek treatment, do what you need to do to recover fully. ….   If your body is trying to tell you something – LISTEN TO IT! Work with your body, not against. ……. There is NO RACE to health, fitness, well being and happiness. This is for life. ….’ (Thanks Angela) .. this has been going round and round in my head. In my head I know it is true and necessary but my heart has taken a little longer to catch up.

So now I have ‘put it out there’ and actually, now the decsion is made I am quite relieved. I just have to deal with people who will look knowingly and think, if not say out loud, ‘I never thought she could do it anyway!’

But I will hold tight to that 18 kilos and 50 cm and know that this is a victory – for me, my body and my health .. and I will be there is 2014 and I will smash it!!

And I will get past feeling like it is an excuse!